Reality Bites
by Lady Manson
Summary: A day in the life of a Soul Calibur character


Disclaimer

I do not own Soul Calibur Any of its characters or the rights to the franchise. I am doing this out of no profit for entert6ainment purposes only and therefore shall not be held legally suited for what I have written. Namco owns Soul Calibur… not me…. With that said… On with the show…

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Welcome to Reality

"You could think that working in a video game is mostly the greatest thing…. But it is not…. Just look at the watch…. - pointing at alarm clock in a corner, the time? 6:00 a.m. - At this time in the morning I have to wake up to make it in time to work. Why? Because my life is simply horrible. Ah, sure you may think it is well paid and I have no right to complain but come think of it…. I'd rather be working in a McDonald's that where I am right now. There are several mysteries in my life…. Like how exactly you and your cameras are here…. In my room, but right now, I have neither the desire nor the brain power to question anything. So let's get this over with…. Hi…. My name is Isabella Valentine…. Call me Ivy…."

"Hello Isabella….Ives…. Ive…." Said the camera crew receiving a nasty glace coming from the voluptuous Dominatrix.

"Seriously…. Just Ivy…. - she said with a heavy sigh. - Otherwise I would need to teach you some manners and I just had the carpet shampooed and cleaned up…. You know how expensive that is?- she said frowning and taking a deep breath.- Ok, so I guess you want to know more about me…. I work in a Video Game for Namco…. Soul Calibur, I am a snake blade wielder… It's mostly like using a whip, but it cuts and slashes and kills…. Very fun….-She said walking to her bedroom and noticing the camera drifting off to her… attributes.- You better focus on my face or I will make sushi out of you and feed you to Hungry piranhas…. Anyways, as I was saying, I have to wake up really early in the morning to make it in time to work. I really don't want to take off at the time school kids are arriving at their schools. As you may notice, I live close to a high School, so believe me I would hate to walk right by with those creeps there. Why don't I drive? My car was torn apart in a really weird accident…. Fan assisted accident." She said putting on some jogging pants and a white sleeveless shirt. The camera crew followed her as she walked to the kitchen of her apartment.

"I don't have much time left to be here…. I must be at work at least at 8 in the morning so I can be ready to begin fighting. I don't consider my profession a real job…. It's more like anger management therapy that you get paid for. Sure, I am still in the family business. My father…. Cervantes, works in the same place that I do, and since he was such a creep to me when I was growing up I like taking it out now…. Believe me I am eager to fight him when the users pick us up…. But not all is good; sometimes I am commanded by a real wiz of the controller…. Others….:: Sigh:: A geek that has nothing more to see than a woman in a thong…. That is so annoying." Said Ivy as she walked to her computer and turned it on, logging to her e-mail account.

"I don't know why I even bother checking my e-mail account.- The screen displayed about 2000 new e-mails, but none from her contact.- Let's see now…. Are you really Ivy? Are you Really Ivy? Dominate me…. You are sexy…. Are You Really Ivy…. Subjects like these make me want to kill someone…. I better leave for work now or I won't make it in time. – She walked to the door and after the camera crew was out she closed the door. - Now, we have to hurry before the…."

"Hello Miss Valentine…" Said a panting middle aged mailman.

"… The mailman comes around.- Said Ivy very frustrated.- Hello…."

"You look as lovely as always… Are you ready to accept my offer? I classified all your mail and put it in alphabetical order…." He said as he panted some more.

"I… um…. Am late for, the… thing…. Um…. Yes, come on you ::beep:: let's move it before I get fired, I am already late because of you….- She said walking pretty fast and away from the panting mailman. The camera crew just turned to see the guy look dozed off and then since they were as creeped out as Ivy was they almost ran out of the building.- There are three things that scare me the most…. Spiders, Garden Gnomes and that damn Panting Mailman…. Every morning he is on my case asking me to marry him…. As if I was going to marry the first asshole that walked by….." She said but stopped speaking to check out a guy that walked by and smiled at her.

"As I was saying… ahem… yes, late for work…. Let's move on. Right now I walk all the way to the main street where I take a cab and get to work. And thanks to you and your stupid camera I now am late. - She said as she walked by a High School's gate and a few teens stopped their usual activities to check out the woman. - This is the George Washington High School, those are the George Washington Morons…. – She said at a crowd of boys yelling all kinds of harassing things to the woman.- I like to consider it a jail for country fair rejects…. Maybe I am being too harsh, maybe there is something good in all this. - She said as she felt some loud panting and looking back she saw the weirdest of all geeks looking lasciviously at her and giving himself shots from his inhaler. Still, he was breathing heavily behind her.-… I… stand corrected.- She said punching the teen that in the end flew to a corner and dripped down with a smile saying she touched me.- Oh Dear Lord… this is worst that I thought…. TAXI…." She yelled as the camera crew was filming the remains of the geek as he was carried as a national hero inside the school to the Nurse room and someone was picking up the remains of his glasses. Then the camera man had to run behind Ivy who was already in a Taxi cab and willing to leave him behind.

"I didn't ask for you to follow me all day long so you step it up or you stay behind."

"Where to Miss…?" Asked the Cabbie.

"To the Namco Headquarters…. - Ivy said as she leaned back and once again the camera was focusing on her body rather than on her face.- Hey! I am seriously warning you…. I will behead you and hang you from my office's wall if you keep it up…. So, I still have no idea on why the hell you are following me all day long with your stupid camera, but I still am not asking anything…- she said as she looked outside at two police officers chasing a purse snatcher.- This place gets weirder by the minute. But that is nothing compared to what will come next…. Yes, my work place….There are good things and bad things… As in everything else…."

"So you work in Namco, Miss?" Asked the Cabbie looking at her through the rear mirror.

"As far as I know…." She answered as the camera man tried in vain to get a shot from his face.

"You are that Ivy girl…. From Soul Calices….?" He said as he took the driveway to Namco.

"Calibur…" Ivy whispered with a sigh.

"What happened with that nice man you were dating…. The German one?" The camera man just had to take a laugh when he saw Ivy blushed as hell. But after a straight glance the man remained silent as a grave.

"I… have never dated Siegfried…."

"I heard that Sophia girl was also behind him…." The cabbie continued not paying attention to the frustrated woman in the back.

"Sophitia… - She said throwing him 40 bucks and going out.- Keep the change Grandpa, you Vermin come along… I have no time to loose.- She said as the camera crew followed inside the building and into an elevator.- Well, here we are, welcome to an alter universe…. Just as a side note I really don't care if you think I like Siegfried…. I don't like that blonde midget…. –She said with a sigh- Nope…. Don't like the sexy, strong, masculine, deep voiced, shy midget…. - She said as she went out of the elevator. - Well, this is it…." She said taking a deep breath.

"That's usually my phrase Ives…. Gutten…." Said Siegfried as he walked by to get dressed. Behind him went Sophitia's sister, Cassandra.

"Hello Grandma…. Hey Blondie wait for me…." She said as she followed him.

"Get away from me already, Verdamt Weibchen." Said the guy disappearing in a corner.

"I love him when he acts German…." Said Cassandra following the guy.

"HEY… I thought this was about me… Focus on ME…..- Said Ivy as the camera once again followed her. She walked into the lockers where her clothes were and took her equipment going into a dressing compartment.- Siegfried has always had a problem with the Greek Sisters…. Since Sophitia married, Cassandra has assumed the annoying Greek girl position…. She gets on mostly everyone's nerves. I… think it is because she expects too much out of life… -Ivy came out with her purple gown and valentine on hand. The camera crew drifted off to check her out making the guys rightful heirs to a whiplash from Valentine.- I told you I was going to teach you some manners. And that was a practice hit. Now let's move along…."

-In the Lounge-

"This is where we spend most of our days… waiting to be called to fight. I will tell you what you need to know about this place… That in the corner, the red haired, is Yunsung, he's the new sexy thing… Beside him, that's Talim, the young wind warrior; don't disturb her, since she is sixteen she is trapped with tutoring between battles… now she's trying to finish an Algebra test, with so much interruptions she barely has any time to study and if her grades aren't satisfactory, she will be out of here… At least that's what Ziggy… Ahem, Siegfried said they did to him when he started in Soul Edge, he was twelve then, so I guess he had to put up with it longer than what she has…. The big one in the corner, that Astaroth, he's quiet, well, either that or he's speaking some tings about exterminating or worms….Raphael, he's cool, he is an educated Frenchman…. –Ivy said sitting down in one of the chairs and pointing at the guy lounging in a sofa with a glass of red wine on hand, whom on his side saw her and lightly waved while the wine seemed to create a blush on his face.- Some may say he's a little girly, but I think it is his upbringing…"

"Hello Ivy…." Said Kilik dropping by and looking at the camera.

"Hello boy…" She said as she leaned back. The rod wielder looked at the camera and simply sighed.

"Don't tell me…. Reality Show on your day? Man, since The Osbournes this world has gone :::Beep:: Mad…" Said Kilik walking away.

"That was Kilik, some people think he is a moron, IQ tests prove him to be average in intelligence… We basically spend our mornings here in this place having breakfast….-Ivy said as she was followed by the camera to the breakfast buffet in one corner of the huge room. As she picked a few fruits and some coffee, a hiss was heard beside her… Ivy gasped heavily. Looking to the side she saw Voldo.-… Hello…. Voldo….- The warrior waved at her took some coffee and walked away from her.- That's Voldo… Where Panting and Spiders collide…. He's quite a nice person… thing…. Warrior…. Something, I guess. Nevertheless, his fighting style reminds me of Spiders and I can't bare that…."

"Speaking to the audience Babe…?" Maxi asked throwing an arm around Ivy. She plainly dispatched the arm and walking back to her corner.

"Yes, she digs me….-Said the Sailor as he looked at Ivy raising a brow, then he looked to the other side.- Xianghua my favorite Chinese girl…" The camera crew went back to Ivy.

"Maxi… one in one million, he could be in a deserted island and flirt with the first coconut he sees… But, he's good on whatever it is that he does…" Before Ivy was done speaking a guy with a headset rushed inside the lunge where everyone was resting, flirting, thinking, studying or whatever it is that they were doing at the moment.

"SOULS…. WE ARE RUNNING LATE…. PLEASE TAKE YOUR SIDES…I REPEAT…SOUL CALIBUR FIGHTERS PLEASE REPORT TO THE ARENA NOW… WE ARE RUNNING LATE…" And the guy walked off.

"Well, that's my call… You can't go inside the arenas because it is a restricted area. And I am still trying to figure out how the hell you made it to my apartment at first… - She said throwing half of her meal in the trash.- If it wasn't because of you, I would have been here earlier and had time for breakfast…." She said taking her snake blade as the rest of the souls rushed to the arenas.

"Someone please, what is the answer of X 6(44y 35z) – 4(21y – 15z)?" Asked Talim as she ran with her test on hand and searching for her blades everywhere. In came Cassandra behind Nightmare's ass.

"X Siegfried lover me…" Answered Cassandra while the blonde plainly sighed.

"No it doesn't… X 180y 150z…." Said Nightmare walking faster to get rid of Cassandra.

"Are you sure Mr. Nightmare….?" Asked Talim as Yunsung seemed to be looking at the exam.

"I don't know… Get away from me Bread Girl…" Said Nightmare shooing her with his sword.

"It is an option…" Yunsung said pointing at the paper.

"Ok… Thanks…" She said entering the arena and selecting the option at the same time. Once again the camera was focused on Ivy who was standing in the doorway to the arena.

"We work in a circus...::Sigh:: Let me add smart to the list of things I DON'T like of that blonde Midget…- She said as she seemed to be very dreamy.- Well, I will see you around, I would love to stay and chat but I must Dominate…." And she closed the door.

"WAIT ISABELLA…. DON"T CLOSE THE DOOR…" And past the camera went a grown purple pirate with a white mustache…

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Thanks for reading… Please review….


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